噓…悄悄告訴你，學霸的作文為何總能拿高分

（圖片來源：Adobe Stock）

更新於：2022-09-16 03:23

每提到孩子的學習成績，不少澳洲華人家長都說不愁數學，就愁寫作。儘管孩子作文寫得不差，但夢想考精英中學的學生仍需精益求精、更上一層樓。

這裡咱們就開門見山，分享學霸的範文和專家的點評，文末也會分享重磅課程，切勿錯過哦！

悉尼精英學校考試A+級寫作水平

新州精英中學考試的佳作要滿足哪些要求呢？ Exam Success網站列舉了高分作文具備的必要因素：

1、良好的架構；

2、大量精彩的語句，而非單調地陳述；

3、與作文題目關聯度高。

（圖片來源：Adobe Stock）

舉個簡單的例子，如果考官要求寫一隻兔子的故事，請不要寫小狗或其他動物的故事。除非小狗最好的朋友是兔子，但即便如此，兔子也必須是故事的中心。

新州教育廳在其精英學校考試官網上發布的寫作例題值得參考。這是一道看圖寫作題，畫面上沒有人臉，只有人手和話筒；大多數人都穿著西裝，每個人看起來都像在做記錄，暗指「有一些非常重要的事要記錄下來」。

看過這張圖後，最容易聯想到的是突發新聞。

一名拿到作文高分的學生這樣寫道：

我擠進人頭攢動的記者群，急切報導現場發生的第一個獨家新聞。（I barrel my way through the crowd of reporters, desperate for the first scoop of the scene happening. ）

我們接到通知，現場發生了一起九車相撞的車禍，至少10人受重傷。能夠爭取到採訪警官機會的記者，回到辦公室後將受到表揚。溫暖的瀝青並沒有阻擋發生在我眼前的踩踏事件；手提包、話筒和錄音機在空中揮舞，或被丟棄在地上；嘈雜的聲音在我耳邊縈繞，幾乎要把我的耳膜震破；記者們就像衣著光鮮的禿鷹，爭先恐後衝上前，向獵物逼近。（We were notified that a nine stack car crash had occurred leaving at least ten people seriously injured. The reporter who would be able to secure an interview with the Officer would be praised and glorified back at the office. The warm ashphalt did nothing to hinder the stampede happening before my very eyes. Handbags, microphones and audio recorders were being waved about in air, or dropped and abandoned on the floor. A cacophony of noises surrounded my ears, almost bursting my eardrums. The reporters were like slick and well-dressed vultures scrambling forward and closing in on their prey.）

（圖片來源：Adobe Stock）

「讓開！讓開！我說讓開！」我無助地喊道，但我的聲音被其他記者的呼聲掩蓋，這些記者都在向保護犯罪現場的警官提問。最後，我一路向前闖進人群，在靠近人群前面的地方找到了一個位置，開始提問。這是警官能聽到我聲音的唯一方式，這是我獲得榮耀的機會。（「Move out of my way! I said move!」 I shouted helplessly, but my pleas were lost in the cries of other questions that were aimed at the Officers protecting the crime scene. Finally barging headfirst and securing a spot near the front of the crowd, I started firing questions of my own. It was the only way the Officer could hear me. This was my chance to get glory.）

「先生，當您在麥當勞吃漢堡時，您是如何向不幸的遇難者家屬透露這個消息的？還有，您真的協助這場車禍真正的罪魁禍首嗎？」話音剛落，警官的友善戛然而止。他年輕的面容皺起帶有怒意的皺紋，咆哮道：「滾出去！出去！」慢慢地，記者們紛紛看向我，他們的臉上都掛著和警官一樣憤怒的皺紋。

（「Sir, how did you break the news to the unfortunate familes of the victims while you were eating hamburgers at McDonald』s? And did you really assist the car crash with the true conspirators?」 As those words left my mouth the Officer』s friendly demeanour turned sour. With a menacing scowl upon his youthful face he growled 「Just. Get. Out.」 Slowly, one by one, each journalist turned on me having the same scowls on their faces as the Officer.）

我知道我違反了新聞業的一個規則，即永遠不要激怒受訪者。在幾秒鐘內，我的榮耀時刻變成了恥辱；更糟糕的是，這一刻被數十台錄音機和筆記記錄下來。我將永遠無法恢復我的尊嚴。

（I knew I had broken the one rule of journalism which was to never anger the interviewee. In seconds my moment of glory turned into shame and in worse still, it was recorded by dozens of voice recorders and notes. I would never be able to regain my dignity.）

這篇作文好在哪裡呢？專家點評說：

1、是以記者（第一人稱）的角度寫的；

2、寫得有趣；

3、與題目（圖畫）關聯度高；

4、描述得很好。譬如moment of glory、pleas were lost、well dressed vultures、warm asphalt、 cacophony等詞語，寫得非常生動。

5、架構良好，寫作流暢。

（圖片來源：Adobe Stock）

不過，吸取學霸的經驗只是提升成績的其中一步，更重要的是系統訓練與指導。這裡小編給各位推薦「悉尼英語學校」（Sydney School of English，簡稱SSE）的快速寫作（Speed Writing）課程，不容錯過！